Hello! How are we all? Please do let me know how you are — I’ve been rubbish at replying to messages recently, as I’ve been trying to keep my screen time down to a sane amount, but I love to hear from you. HMU.
I’ve started typing this, deleted it, typed it again, deleted it, typed it again. And, I think that’s pretty representative of my entire lockdown! I’ve had such a creative block, and used pretty much all of my energy to keep my work ticking over and create content for my freelance clients.
How am I doing?
Pragmatically: I have work — I’m actually busier than ever. I have a house with lots of space and a garden. I’m physically fit and healthy. I’m isolating with my best friend. My work is flexible. I have a car. My income is fine and secure.
When I’m not counting my blessings: every day is a journey. I’ve had days of utter, raw sadness, other days, I’ve felt on the top of the world. I miss my family and have moments in the middle of the night where I wake up just terrified that something will happen to the people I care about. But I’ve also cherished time at home (which I don’t get a lot of usually) and been thankful that I don’t have to drive up and down the country.
It’s conflicting and confusing. You know it, we’re all there.
What’s been keeping me sane?
I’ve tried to adapt my relationship with social media. I’ve scrolled when I want to rather than out of habit, and I’ve deleted the Facebook app — I’ve only kept Instagram because I have to use it for work. There’s a lot of bullshit on social but I don’t want to pressure myself to “spend less time on social media lalala” to avoid it. I just want to monitor what I see in a day.
I try to replace a scroll on social with checking BBC news, or just looking at the graph of cases/deaths on .gov. It tells me what I need to know with minimal emotion and, for me, that’s OK. Cases are X today and the trend is Y. That’s fine, no opinions. I’m struggling to look anywhere except the Beeb for news right now, as it’s kind of the only place I trust — and I’m actively avoiding any news or articles on social.
Because I’ve been working so much — I work in usability design and do freelance content creation — I’ve had no more free time than usual… I actually think I’ve had less. I’ve really appreciated having the routine and an awesome team to chat to every day. I think I’d be finding it a lot harder without the focus and purpose that work brings.
I’ve always loved plants but that has maximised in lockdown. Matt is concerned our house will become a jungle, and my friends have received doorstep deliveries of unsolicited plants that I’ve propagated and grown.
I’ve been doing some furious gardening outside too — and got to know my neighbours in the process. I’m really interested in how lockdown will impact society socially. I feel so connected to my community, due to spending more time outside near my house, with exercising and gardening, and chatting all the shit.
For the first time in my life, I’ve been worried that I may read every book that I own. I’ve also reorganised my bookshelves 10000 times. I’m a huge bookworm anyway but I’ve really appreciated being able to turn my phone off and be absorbed in a whole new world for a few hours. I find reading a lot more of an escape than TV. But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t been binging TV. I have invested in some new makeup brushes after watching Glow Up and I feel like I’ve been officially influenced. But if you wanna talk Glow Up, Drag Race, The Last Dance, Killing Eve, literally anything on Disney Plus. HMU.
I actually have a low-key Instagram where I’m keeping track of everything that I read. You can follow me @georgie_reads or on Goodreads, which I keep surprisingly up to date.
I can’t even think about photography right now. I’m not doing a lot. I can’t be arsed to think up a project and go with it, I just don’t have the emotional energy. I miss it horribly, but that is what it is. I’m enjoying rooting around in my porfolio and finding things I didn’t know I liked. I’m enjoying thinking about what I’ll do after lockdown and where I want to go as an artist. But that’s the future, and right now I’m just trying to get through every day.
Stay safe and well